Remembering

Happy Memorial Day. How is it that those words go together and make any sense? Happy: feeling or showing pleasure; contentment. Memorial: something, especially a structure, established to remind people of a person or event. I suppose the persons or events could be pleasant reminders and the adjective happy could precede memorial but nine times out of ten the people are dead and the events are of the horrific variety. Some might want to discuss substituting meaningful and memorable for happy but I won’t enter into that debate here. Memorial Day actually has a long sordid history all the way back to 1868 having been claimed by several organizations and locations until President Johnson finally declared it a national holiday in 1971. It began as Decoration Day whose intention was to honor the graves of the Civil War soldiers, surely a horrific event if there ever was one.

I grew up in a time of many military holidays and it seems that in the midwest we celebrated them all - D Day, VJ Day, Decoration Day that became Memorial Day, Armistice Day that became Veterans Day, Pearl Harbor Day. For years I thought Veterans Day was for the military and Memorial Day was for the “other” dead people; we certainly spent some time with flowers and flags at family gravesites, none of whom served in the military. Being a teen during the Viet Nam war made my relationship with the military complicated so in my mind, it was only right that there be a day to remember the rest of us. Then it seemed that I could distinguish Memorial Day from Veterans Day by the red poppies but they slowly disappeared so my confusion remained. I still remember asking my mom the difference as a teenager and the quizzical look I received. She was always a bit surprised at all the unasked questions I carried around searching for clues in the world before asking and putting my ignorance on full display just for her. In the end, whatever the name of the holiday and who it was intended to honor, the important part of the celebration is calling us to remember.

The word remember shows up often in the Bible; many of them refer back in history to the exodus and to covenants made with God. Jesus used the word remember at the Last Supper and we still repeat his words now after over 2000 years, “Do this in memory of me,” he proclaimed to his disciples. And only a day later, the thief on the adjoining cross would use the word again and ask Jesus to remember him. As Catholics we live out the Last Supper every week in the Eucharist. The mass itself is known as a memorial as we remember the sacrifice of Jesus. In the act of remembering we re-member ourselves. We bring our community back together again as one with Christ. The presence of Jesus is in the bread and wine and we are deeply aware that the Christian community is now again united.

So here we are in 2025 trying to make sense of this holiday. It is the perfectly placed three day weekend halfway to Thanksgiving so if you are looking for me I’m in Kentucky celebrating with family. Memorial Day is the honorary start to summer as the weather is settling down to more predictable ranges and usually perfect for a barbecue or a day at the beach. It is also a great time for sales and if you live in an area that has held on to the tradition, take in a parade. But what is it aside from our fallen soldiers that we are memorializing? Sadly, it does become a day to remember those who have passed away and are no longer with us. My family lost a younger brother in our childhood at about this time of year, so he always comes to mind first. And then all the others march in behind him: friends, parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and this year, Pope Francis. We remember. We remember the people, the lives they lived, the blessings they brought to us in the time they had on Earth and give thanks. And we also remember the barbecues of yore when the family gathered for burgers and potato salad, complete with watermelon seed spitting championships, tossing horseshoes and giggling at Grandma’s winning strategies despite being in a dress, days at the beach with my kids, and yes, parades. For it is in these parades, drenched in red, white, and blue that we are reminded of our military history and how we, for better or worse, came to be the America that we are today. Happy Memorial Day. May the thoughts of all our fallen heroes - civilian as well as military - help us remember.